Genetic link

Elida Kindh
Do you have to be done grieving you loss of the genetic link to pursue embryo donation?

I don't think it's necessary, or at least it wasn't for me. I had to let go of the genetic children I'll never meet in order to open up my arms for the child I could meet - but that was something different. Just as you don't stop grieving your loved one the moment you close the grave over them.

In fact it helped me to see my children coming as something separate from the unchildren who never will. My grief has nothing to do with something they lack. My pride nothing to do with wanting my unchildren less. They were born not lacking anything. Mine through and through and precious on their own account (and my daughter looks quite like me - I don't wonder your friends children look like their biologic sister but that might be very different had she also been carried in a different womb)

Yet I missed my unchildren for a long time. My mind slipped at the first step up the stairway of 'never' - never is a mindblowingly long word! I imagined the family tree my grandmother kept, noting every birth in a branching tree. And with me - the genetic branch would just end. Never to give birth to any more branches blooming. I can still feel a soft melancholy about that although grief has passed (as I say about my first born who died; the wrath of grief will pass but the place is forever empty - he forever missed). Those feelings of grief and missing had nothing to do with the children who came into the world.

My first child only became visible in my dream weft before he left - but after such a long time weaving dreams - she actually stepped out. That joy is pure. It didn't mean I didn't miss my tree never growing branches anymore. It just meant those things actually had nothing to do with eachother. I'd also say I'm proud of my family tree now. It has something unique to it as a small slip was inoculated to it. It changing with the new place I of growth and our tree forever changed by that tiny slip that choose to grow big and full of life on it.
Edited ·  7 hours ago

Sarah Hull
I love this Elida, I never know how to explain to people the kids I feel at not having a hebdomad child while at the same time not feeling life I'm missing out with the children who are my heart that I do have. Thank you for helping or this intro words, being able to be sad about one doesn't diminish the love for another.
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http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/609805/infertile-mums-pass-on-DNA-new-research-Southampton-University-Nick-Macklon