"You’ll remember next time.” That one simple phrase communicates so much to children. It tells them that their failure today isn’t a permanent failure that they can change and it gives them something positive to focus on, “You’ll remember next time to use your words.” It also helps them resolve their current feelings (I feel bad now, but next time I can do better) and gives them a sense of relief and a desire to try next time. If they do remember next time they might even point it out to you “I remembered Mama! I used my words!” with their eyes shining with pride. And you’ll respond with a “Yes, you did remember! You used your words!” just as excited as they are. When they do that you know it happened — they were empowered to change their behavior from within. That pride is a reflection of the empowerment. And it wasn’t about you controlling their behavior, but about them learning a better way and internalizing it– they changed from within.
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